8 of 8 Founding League spots left
Fantasy
Dad Bod
The league where losing wins.
Your fantasy football league competes against other leagues — not on waiver-wire luck, but on percent of body weight lost. $500 in prizes. Two minutes a week. First weigh-in Oct 2, first matchup Oct 9.
Claim our league's spotHow it works
Your league opts in
Only the guys who want to play sign up. A 12-man league can field 4. Nobody gets volunteered.
Weigh in once a week
A photo of your feet on the scale with that week's code word. Takes 20 seconds. Only you ever see it.
Your league vs. another league
Every week is a head-to-head matchup, scored on percent of body weight lost — so the 180-lb guy and the 290-lb guy compete fairly.
The money
Paid to the winning commissioner, earmarked for next year's draft party. Your league wins it together.
- 1st
- $350
- 2nd
- $100
- 3rd
- $50
Plus individual hardware: Dad Bod MVP and Best Waist. No entry fee, ever, in year one.
The season
- Sep 30
- Last day to claim a Founding League spot
- Oct 2–4
- First weigh-in — your starting number
- Oct 9–11
- First head-to-head matchup
- Thanksgiving
- League-wide bye. Obviously.
- Jan 1–3
- Finale weigh-in
- ~Jan 11
- Prizes paid
The privacy promise
No shirtless photos. No before-and-afters on the internet. Your weigh-in photo shows your feet and a scale, an AI reads the number, and nobody else ever sees the picture — not your commissioner, not your league-mates, not the guy who talks too much in the group chat. Everyone else sees percentages. Photos are deleted 30 days after payout.
Why I'm doing this
I've played fantasy football with my college friends for 25 years. I want 25 more.
That's not guaranteed. We're at the age where it stops being a joke — where the guys ahead of us start getting news over the phone. None of us has had the scare yet. That's exactly why now.
Same league, same trash talk, one more scoreboard. The $500 is mine. Cheapest insurance I'll ever buy.
— Patrick
Get your league in
You only need one yes — yours. Sign up as commissioner and recruit your guys after.
Questions your league will ask
+ − Who sees my photos?
You. That's the whole list. An AI reads the scale to confirm the number and the code word — no commissioner, no league-mate, and no other player ever sees a photo. Photos are deleted 30 days after the season pays out.
+ − Does everyone see what I weigh?
Never. Your league-mates see percentages, not pounds, and nobody outside your league sees anything about you as an individual.
+ − Isn't this rigged for the big guys?
The opposite of rigged — everything is percent of your own starting weight. Ten pounds off a 200-lb frame beats ten pounds off a 300-lb frame.
+ − What if I travel or have a wedding?
Two bye weeks per player, declared in advance. Thanksgiving is a league-wide bye that costs you nothing.
+ − What does it cost?
Nothing in 2026. Patrick is funding the $500 in prizes himself to find out whether this is any fun.
+ − What's the catch?
This is year one, run by one guy with a fantasy league and a spreadsheet problem. Rules may get tweaked mid-season. You're a founding league, not a customer.